The workers responlogues

Will you vote in 2011??

Fote...why I won't fote...2011 lagbara oloun, i we fote for d best shoize candidate...

Nna bros, if dem sho me kishi, wey dem go give me may i vote, notin way fit stop me, I go vote but if not na maket i suppos dey da day...tinkin sha, depending on d candidate's promises...if it fit blend, i fit considaram...

What do you think should be done about corruption?

Hmm, Nigeria she is too corrupt, all the big big men, too stealing...ahn ahn...anyway one day, we too we reash there,if not God almighty we judge all liars, all tifs, all corrupters stealing our money in this Nigeria...

Well, I tink tath we shud embrace democracy so we will not be corrupt again...

Corruption, is everywhere, even if look at US, Uk,Jamny,France they have corruption over there too so what can we in Nigeria do, we just hope and pray to the almighty to deliver us...

Should they ban okadas in Lagos?

Anybody that ban okada is fery wicked, yelz, there is dangerous in it but poor man wey no get car wetin in go do when traffic dey, okada is a fast way to reash somewhere you are going so they should not ban it...

Ban Okada, in dis Lagos, e no fit happen....

Would you wear a helmet on an Okada?

Ah I don't really say for nown, because you know everywhere there is juju but if Jesus is your personal Lord and safiour, no efil can arm you...

Is Fashola doing a good job in Lagos?

Ah Eko o ni baje...yez, look at the road, park, eferytin is fine, Fashola I say more greaze to your enbow...

Well, Fashola is working hard here, iz not easy but you know tings are more harder now...no shop anywhere, anyhow, man no fit chop, it dey divicut but notin sha, God dey and Fashola dey try make Lagos better so we go wait see...

The Hairdresser logues

Ah Madam good afternoon kile fe se si irun yin...e fe ko bance...you want bancing cois or waving cois... The hair that is very best for that is romance cors...it haf bancing cois and eev we straigt it it wee haf waving cois...

Oh you want to wash and set your ear... ok madam sat down lez remoof the braids for you...ahn ahn why ma ofcos we will not cut your ear...


Ahn eku ijoko o, se ese o dun yin, ati fe se irun yin tan...ahn sorry ma you haf no speak yoruba...i am say well sit o, we af finish your hair fery soon...

Hei Aunty Buki, e ri madam to wo ibi nisin, te ba ri irun to ko sabe wave on yen e le mo lai lai pe olowo ni won...

Ewo Aunty Taiye, laye laye ti n ba ti ni customer, e ma elp mi mo ahn ahn..

Home savice,for any type of any hair star and oda savices sush has pendicure and manyicur...contact Lady PM for foda deetayls...

Mary, d guy wey we see yesternight don dey call dey axe for you o, i tell am say na haidrezza you be no be ashawo say if e won gelfriend im sopose pay the price first...im con talk sey afta closing from shop today,make we go chop in Mr Biggs, na im a talk sey Got forbit, us we dey work, mr Biggs...i reject...i upgrade us straight, we dey go tantalisers and im say may we no take bus, im go pay for teizi and im go drop us at home...and on saturday im go take us shopping for yaba...see i don tell am from start,you no be ashawo wey im go just use pay, im go first pay before...

The traveller monologues

Hei mehn, wenna arrife in UK i we fost call mama sufi to tell ham dat emi o, Moruf Oladimeji Bello ti di kini,ti di ero UK,a de ma se big time ni Peckham...

Mo se se de lati Uk ni, mo lo on a shopping spreed...ah te ba ri bag DicKNeeY ti mo ra very nize...very clazzic...

Chineke, Huston be like paradise,gbam... I see toooo mayknee faces...Ndubuisi, ndigbo wan,his house e be like palace, and Ezeego, chief naon,you know him, his car, my God be like aeloplane...if you see their wife,na so so Chanel dem dey wear with louis nwavitton...

Oh herlow, I'm arlright, I jurst gert berck from Lorndon yesterday...it wars really nize, and irts furnny I carnt even speak yoruba anymore, oh I staryed around west norwood so there were alot of naijar pirple burt we ornly speaked english you know...oh you're coming over,that's nize innit...

Various clerks logues...

A. Hello babe I will like to knw more abt u...i like ur pic u luk so gorgeous
and nice.where r u frm?i wish to knw u.hope u r not disturb sexy.let me
hear frm u.thanks

B. Am harry by name,just true with ur profile, am an engineer in an internet service provider company in nigeria...i'll like to known you more better than this if you dont mind and i'll be glad if u can add me on your list ..if.. u dont mind this my contact phone number +2348030834523 harry..waiting to hear from you..

C. Nice pic with a gud posture u gat .really u look maginificent even without bn told i guess u know.it will be nice if we both get hook up on net,that is if u're down with it.mosco@yahoo.com my personal mail.the latter is my yahoo id.do ve a gud noon.hey,the name is ayowale elliot...

D. Hi baby am happy 2 hav u as my friend, can we share dat ur beautiful smile 2gether? I luv u

E. Hello Sexy,
Wow! U look like a customized oven baked bread built for my taste alone, Your skin so fresh like a new born baby, Your eyeballs so sexy and fascinating, Shinny eyebalss you got, Your Denttition so white and pure by the way what kind of toothpaste do you use? Your lips so soft like they have never been kissed before. Well would not mind to roll with a Pretty Queen like you though am not perfect but could be the BEST you ever wanted. I wish you find my letter interesting babe.. So if you do, Hit me up on on IM at john.turner at yahoo dot com
Would be glad to read from you as soon as possible,

Cares a great deal

The Igbo vs Yoruba Driver Logues

Ah Daddy, walahi talahi sumabilahi ko si change lowo mi, fill tank ni mo lo ra...epo ti won ni...e mo las week sisty fife naira a leeta ni, o ti di sefintee fife ni dis week...so fool tank yen wa je tree kwotaMola to je president wa naa lo fa...e mo awon mola won man kan kan...

Ah Oga mi, onigbagbo jesu ni mi, mi o de le puro, walahi, ni Tota awolowo road, won tin sift pump...because o wa onbeliefabu dat I queue up for fool tank and is tree kwota tank i leaf wit...

Oga, the fwhale wey you sey meyk a buy, as I reash petrol station, na in plenty queu dey, so i con giv the attendant,500, give the boy wey dey sale 200, and the gateman 100 so na only fwhale of tray five wey i buy so the fwhale no too move from raysav...i know you give me 5k, the change wey raymain as i dey con back, the light for car talk sey no ingin oyel, so i branch for mobil buy am...

Sah, i don dey talk am say make we no dey buy fwhale for AP or Tezaco, aygane, e bi like sey den dey ajust their pump...you remeba last week wey you say make i buy petrol, i buy the complete 5k and the fwhale no even too much move from raysav...

The tejuosho stall owner logues

Baybee, baybee con na, na marrey I wan marrey i no wan boyfriend you..sweet baybee...

madam con na, con check am out, na 100 pasent Italy, no be China, real cotten products...

check out Uche's shop na, for your cortane material, bedshit, pillocase...100 pasent made in China, cheap and affodayble

Chei, Chineke, see how God design pesin, as I see you baybee, my heart just run commot my chest say meyk im chase you...hei, sweet asamwa...

Lepa con na, con may i toast you, con now...ahn ahn you dey form see in leg wey resemble chicken...hahaha...asay meyk you con may i change youare life...as you tin so you fit see man like you...terin gbay ku...

ahn ahn you dey pull youare sket you fo no wear mini con makate if you no wan make hand enta the sket na...ashawo...akuna...

Uche you dey crase, you no see say na my customa bi dat...abeg puo ebah osiso tutu mu wa ga n'ewi iwe onye nzu zu...

Amaka baybee, youare yash don dey round...wetin youare mama dey give you chop...mama amaka, d garre wey you dey seel amaka don dey steal am...anyway no need to ponish am, na because of me, in no say i wan marre am na why in go grow small yash d way i like am...mwah amaka...mama amaka we don...le ofuma...

The Taxi driver and the bread hawker

Wo oni buredi wa wa wa, mu oni 50 naira wa...

e ma binu ko si oni sisty nikan lowa...

ole ni e ole olosha...kekere yin na ni sisty, ole,,oye kin gba e loju...

baba teba ma ra bread ni ke so, te ba ni ra e je ki n ma lo, mo ni mo lonifitynaira...be se dagb te ni moto e le ra buredi...agbaya, e ba gba oju naa mo je gegebu punshing bag abi...wo ma da seria fun yin teba don wo...infight mo ta mo fun...

ko le dafun e omo buruku ni e..onilakaiye, o de gbon, i ti binu i fe ma lo, o ta mo, ma ta ode, boya emi ni ma wa garri mu lale yi...omo ake, omoranu...

e ese a wa garri mu, o betta pe kani moto kama ni epo kama ni fity naira, mo si mo pe akuse lawa bai, oloun ma se temi be lai lai, iyawo to fee yin ni amumora, to ba je emi ni, ma ti fi akuse ara sile...oloshi baba agbaya ole...woooooooooooooo...akuse...on ti bata o loun ti moto...